AVSIG: The Guard Police wwswsigarch.jpg (7236 bytes)

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nehoC hctiM
Top Gun


Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 2293
Loc: LAX Based 10/2016 - Current YA...
The Guard Police
      #417556 - 11/06/15 12:17 PM

Copied from somewhere Canadian:



Guard Police

The steady thrum of the mighty P-dubs drone incessantly into the night. I am almost oblivious to their presence as I maintain my vigil, patrolling 121.5 from Timmins to Toronto like a pacing Doberman. The toothpick rides up front, balanced on my lower lip just above the soul patch, the tip vibrating like a tuning fork. A sudden burst of static flares out of the #2 radio, causing the adrenaline to race madly for a split second before subsiding. The toothpick shoots up like a power antenna and then lays flat once more, waiting patiently for the next intrusion. “Easy, my friend”, I mutter under my breath. “They’ll be back….

“Whas that?” The left seat warmer emerges from behind his papery tent of Globe and Mail, an inquisitive look on his face. “You say sumpin?” I wave him away impatiently and return to the task at hand. You see, chaps, I have no time for such frivolous recreational pursuits such as reading when flying.

My mission is far bolder and my purpose clear: I am a self-trained, highly experienced member of the guard police.

In fact, if the guard police handed out ranks, I would probably be a corporal. To date, I have over 2367 confirmed penalized violations on 121.5, all swiftly punished by my ruthless and relentless curt radio transmission: “YOU’RE ON GUARD!!” These three powerful words smite violators like a scimitar, laying bare your error for all of your peers to judge. No matter if you are a hapless student pilot calling final on the wrong radio, or a chubby corporate flyer calling ahead for a lav dump at the FBO, nobody escapes my swift intervention into your shocking transgression. I consider it a personal travesty that a trained professional could be so irresponsible to transmit on the wrong freq, and delight in clenching the transmit button and snarling my stern correction from my listening post in the Dash. I’m like an AWACS in that sense, gents.

I pause from my post briefly and watch the lights of Sudbury slide by in the inky blackness. Maybe everyone will behave tonight and maintain strict radio protocol after all. I make a routine entry in the guard police black notebook. 2230 local. All is quiet.

And then it happens.

A heavy Korean accent making a position report.

Stammering and stumbling over fuel quantities, time over, next waypoints….and all on 121.5! The mullet curls up in anger like an epic wave, and the toothpick stands straight up at attention, vibrating like a guitar string. My fingers twitch over the mic button, waiting for the horrific crescendo to be complete. Excitement pummels the seat cushion beneath me as the flight deck fills with a gaseous explosion consisting of limburger cheese, baked beans and broccoli. The Left Seat Warmer slumps over, grasping for the wemac, the Globe and Mail flapping feebly like a limp sail!

Silence now, but only for a second. I stab the mic button with a sweaty grasp and howl my protest into the northern Ontario darkness. I bellow my distaste in a hail of abuse and rage. “On guard! On guard! YOU ARE ON GUARDDDDD!!!”

I release the mike and slump back in my seat heavily. Another successful round of punishment issued. I scratch the number with pride in my little black notebook: 2368.

Watch those transmissions out there, blokes. I’ll be listening. Notebook in hand.

--------------------
USA Today said, people over 50 are calmer.


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Scott Dyer [HPN/NY]
Top Gun


Reged: 01/11/03
Posts: 20065
Re: The Guard Police [Re: nehoC hctiM]
      #417568 - 11/06/15 02:29 PM

Amen.

Followed only by the jokesters who go on and on echoing, "GUARDDDDD!!!”.


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nehoC hctiM
Top Gun


Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 2293
Loc: LAX Based 10/2016 - Current YA...
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Scott Dyer [HPN/NY]]
      #417584 - 11/06/15 06:40 PM

Under "You can't make this stuff up"

Today on 121.5

Hello Guard, this is Piper 12345

ATC wants me to ask you if you hear an elt.

------
No answer.

He repeats it.

Then I hear staticky someone trying to set this old gentleman straight.


Told you, can't make this stuff up.

--------------------
USA Today said, people over 50 are calmer.


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Randy Sohn
Gradn Exlated Ordre of teh Fyling Fingres


Reged: 08/31/01
Posts: 23187
Loc: Savage, MN - U.S.A.
Re: The Guard Police [Re: nehoC hctiM]
      #417585 - 11/06/15 07:15 PM

Quote:

trying to set this old gentleman straight




Mmmmm, was "old" an assumption on your part?

best, randy


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Bill Bridges - 9S1
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 6008
Loc: 9S1
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Randy Sohn]
      #417587 - 11/06/15 08:15 PM

"Beeper, Beeper, come up Voice."

The transmission on guard from an ejection seat (I don't know the correct term.)

These guard transmissions Gil and I heard way too many times in SE Asia. I still get cold chills thinking about the ejection seats.

I think all the military guard transmissions were on two forty three zip?

the other bill


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Scott Dyer [HPN/NY]
Top Gun


Reged: 01/11/03
Posts: 20065
Re: The Guard Police [Re: nehoC hctiM]
      #417596 - 11/06/15 10:20 PM

Quote:

Under "You can't make this stuff up"

Today on 121.5

Hello Guard, this is Piper 12345

ATC wants me to ask you if you hear an elt.

------
No answer.

He repeats it.

Then I hear staticky someone trying to set this old gentleman straight.


Told you, can't make this stuff up.




Guy's just a little unclear on the concept....


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B. Butler (Oregonian)
Top Gun


Reged: 05/15/04
Posts: 9760
Loc: Ashland, Oregon
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bill Bridges - 9S1]
      #417599 - 11/06/15 10:29 PM

Quote:


I think all the military guard transmissions were on two forty three zip?

the other bill




Yeah. Guard is 243.0. that other thing is 121.5. The term "guard" comes from the military receivers being able to hear both the assigned discrete UHF freq and 243.0 simultaneously. Over the decades, untold "wannabe"s and the ill-informed have smeared the concept to include the discrete simplex civil emergency frequency, 121.5.

--------------------
"Why not be a nihilist? A man has to believe in something."
-Bernie Gunther


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nehoC hctiM
Top Gun


Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 2293
Loc: LAX Based 10/2016 - Current YA...
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Randy Sohn]
      #417600 - 11/06/15 10:34 PM

Quote:

Quote:

trying to set this old gentleman straight




Mmmmm, was "old" an assumption on your part?

best, randy




Yes and yes!!!

I have worked at a circus tent guessing ages for prizes.

Ok, you got me, never have done that but usually a great judge of age by the experience of the voice from my perception and measly fifty six years on this Earth. My guess would be 70-80 ish.


We should test those skills one year at an Avsig gig talk ok? ;)

Mitch

Ps, nothing against age. If anything, much respect deserved.

--------------------
USA Today said, people over 50 are calmer.


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Jeff Hartmann CIC
Top Gun


Reged: 05/18/04
Posts: 7323
Loc: Chico,CA
Re: The Guard Police [Re: nehoC hctiM]
      #417607 - 11/07/15 08:39 AM

More likely from the younger crowd....they scream GUARD, followed by, " any traffic in the area please advise"

(My current copilot uses that phrase....aaauurrgh.)

--------------------
Jeff

nothing clever to say right now...


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Randy Sohn
Gradn Exlated Ordre of teh Fyling Fingres


Reged: 08/31/01
Posts: 23187
Loc: Savage, MN - U.S.A.
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bill Bridges - 9S1]
      #417609 - 11/07/15 09:13 AM

Quote:

military guard transmissions were on two forty three zip?




Yup, correct, 243 nuth'n.

best, randy


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Randy Sohn
Gradn Exlated Ordre of teh Fyling Fingres


Reged: 08/31/01
Posts: 23187
Loc: Savage, MN - U.S.A.
Re: The Guard Police [Re: B. Butler (Oregonian)]
      #417610 - 11/07/15 09:15 AM

Quote:

the military receivers being able to hear both the assigned discrete UHF freq and 243.0 simultaneously




Concur, the 18+G position.

best, randy


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Dave Siciliano (ADS)
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 8469
Loc: ADS (Dallas, TX)
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Randy Sohn]
      #417615 - 11/07/15 10:30 AM

Quote:


Concur, the 18+G position.

best, randy




We had a selector also that allowed normal freq or normal + guard which is where we normally kept it. Of course, in RVN, we had Chicken Man come up on guard each morning and do a check :). Kinna funny to be winging one's way out to the combat AO in the morning with it still and quiet and hear his distinctive voice come on.


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sreyoB yrraL
AVSIG Member


Reged: 05/16/04
Posts: 9442
Re: The Guard Police [Re: B. Butler (Oregonian)]
      #417619 - 11/07/15 11:58 AM

Quote:

The term "guard" comes from the military receivers being able to hear both the assigned discrete UHF freq and 243.0 simultaneously. Over the decades, untold "wannabe"s and the ill-informed have smeared the concept to include the discrete simplex civil emergency frequency, 121.5.



You don't try to explain that on 121.5 when someone calls it "guard", do you? LOL


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sreyoB yrraL
AVSIG Member


Reged: 05/16/04
Posts: 9442
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Jeff Hartmann CIC]
      #417620 - 11/07/15 12:00 PM

Quote:

(My current copilot uses that phrase....aaauurrgh.)



Did you show him in the AIM where it specifically says NOT to do that?


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Dave Siciliano (ADS)
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 8469
Loc: ADS (Dallas, TX)
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Jeff Hartmann CIC]
      #417621 - 11/07/15 12:22 PM

Quote:

More likely from the younger crowd....they scream GUARD, followed by, " any traffic in the area please advise"

(My current copilot uses that phrase....aaauurrgh.)




Moody Blues fan? Change to "Is there anybody out there" :)


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B. Butler (Oregonian)
Top Gun


Reged: 05/15/04
Posts: 9760
Loc: Ashland, Oregon
Re: The Guard Police [Re: sreyoB yrraL]
      #417623 - 11/07/15 12:39 PM

Quote:


You don't try to explain that on 121.5 when someone calls it "guard", do you? LOL




No, but I regard 121.5 as pretty useless anyway. It is available at relatively few locations, and poorly monitored. If I have an emergency, I'm gonna announce it on an air traffic frequency which I know to be in use and populated.

The last thing I want is a bunch of "saviors" who don't know where I am or how to provide meaningful assistance all blocking each other and me in their rush to be heroic.

--------------------
"Why not be a nihilist? A man has to believe in something."
-Bernie Gunther

Edited by B. Butler (Oregonian) (11/07/15 12:41 PM)


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Dave Siciliano (ADS)
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 8469
Loc: ADS (Dallas, TX)
Re: The Guard Police [Re: B. Butler (Oregonian)]
      #417626 - 11/07/15 03:14 PM

Actually, I've heard a couple very effective efforts on 121.5 to assist someone in trouble and radio discipline was good. Not saying I'd get off the control freq, but if having trouble there, I'd sure try 121.5 AKA the airline on incorrect frequency channel :)

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Randy Sohn
Gradn Exlated Ordre of teh Fyling Fingres


Reged: 08/31/01
Posts: 23187
Loc: Savage, MN - U.S.A.
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Dave Siciliano (ADS)]
      #417628 - 11/07/15 03:53 PM

Quote:

[We had a selector also that allowed normal freq or normal + guard




Yup, that was the same UHF selector that i was talkin' 'bout, 18 or 18+G.

best, randy


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Bill Bridges - 9S1
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 6008
Loc: 9S1
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Randy Sohn]
      #417639 - 11/07/15 08:49 PM Attachment (132 downloads)

Here you go Randy :-))



To transmit (1) PRESET CHAN(nel), MAN(ual), and GD XMIT (guard tranmit)
To receive (3) Off, T/R, T/R +G(uard), ADF

the other bill

Edited by Bill Bridges - T47 (11/07/15 09:20 PM)


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Bill Bridges - 9S1
Top Gun


Reged: 05/17/04
Posts: 6008
Loc: 9S1
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bill Bridges - 9S1]
      #417640 - 11/07/15 08:54 PM Attachment (129 downloads)

The infamous FM and KY28 which was used to talk to the folks on the ground.



You always want a Green Light (5), not a Red Light (4). :-))

When using the Kentucky 28 it had a very definite side-tone to know you were transmitting in the secure mode.

The codes were changed every night.

the other bill

Edited by Bill Bridges - T47 (11/07/15 09:19 PM)


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Tom Charlton
Top Gun


Reged: 04/28/04
Posts: 2221
Loc: The west coast of Florida
Re: The Guard Police [Re: B. Butler (Oregonian)]
      #417643 - 11/07/15 09:41 PM

Quote:

The last thing I want is a bunch of "saviors" who don't know where I am or how to provide meaningful assistance all blocking each other and me in their rush to be heroic.


Hi Bill,

Reminds me of a deal long time back. Was my habit at the time to have guard dialed in when not otherwise communicate’n. Climbing through about 9,000’ on my way to 18,000’ in a C-206. Mr. motor suddenly rolled back to idle power. After a bit I mashed the button with a mayday, mayday, engine failure, location. Way too many responses! Finally settled on a dialog with Vero Beach Flight Service. (a clue as to how long ago)

Anyhow, lots of open pastures to choose from so wouldn’t you know I sailed into the Lucky “L” Ranch. Throttle cable had broken off at the fuel control unit.

Regards,
Tom Charlton (#3 of 4. Hmm . . . thought they told me these things hardly ever quit<g>)

--------------------
The airplane has unveiled for us the true face of the earth. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 1939.


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Terry Carraway
Top Gun


Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7098
Loc: Maryland
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bill Bridges - 9S1]
      #417654 - 11/08/15 07:33 AM

Quote:

The infamous FM and KY28 which was used to talk to the folks on the ground.



You always want a Green Light (5), not a Red Light (4). :-))

When using the Kentucky 28 it had a very definite side-tone to know you were transmitting in the secure mode.

The codes were changed every night.

the other bill




There was a VHF FM emergency frequency also.

IIRC, it was 40.5

So 40.5 x 3 = 121.5 x 2 = 243.0

In the A-10 we had VHF FM, used for within a flight or to the ground guys. VHF AM and UHF.

--------------------
Terry
Mostly 0W3

Edited by Terry Carraway (11/08/15 07:35 AM)


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Jeff Hartmann CIC
Top Gun


Reged: 05/18/04
Posts: 7323
Loc: Chico,CA
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Tom Charlton]
      #417657 - 11/08/15 09:05 AM

I was with a student in Citabria, doing a stall series....I said push the throttle up and let's get some altitude....hmmm, it was up. I was monitoring Opa Locka tower. So I called them, let them know I had idle power and was landing in a pasture.....by coincidence there was a CG helicopter hovering at the pad....within 10 minutes we had landed and got a helo ride home!

Cows chewed up the fabric, but after reattaching the throttle lincage the boss flew it home....I got to drive his car ( 67 327 vette ).

1969...

--------------------
Jeff

nothing clever to say right now...


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Bruce Gorrell [EQY]
Top Gun


Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 7864
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Jeff Hartmann CIC]
      #417722 - 11/09/15 07:13 PM

I had the AIM bookmarked to show copilots why I interrupted them.

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Jeff Hartmann CIC
Top Gun


Reged: 05/18/04
Posts: 7323
Loc: Chico,CA
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bruce Gorrell [EQY]]
      #417724 - 11/09/15 08:54 PM

Good idea...I have been trying to figure out how to stop it without conflict.

I missed the Mahhnroe fly in. Did the weather give you much problem?

Remote from Bozeman.

Edit: two posts back....correct lincage to linkage.... ( just noticed)

--------------------
Jeff

nothing clever to say right now...

Edited by Jeff Hartmann (EXX/SVH) (11/09/15 09:00 PM)


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Ken Korshin KMIA
Top Gun


Reged: 04/30/04
Posts: 688
Loc: Key Largo, Florida, USA
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Jeff Hartmann CIC]
      #417730 - 11/10/15 07:07 AM

>>Edit: two posts back....correct lincage to linkage.... ( just noticed)<<

Ms. Gooch is not grading your posts. :>)

--------------------
Best,

Ken


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Bruce Gorrell [EQY]
Top Gun


Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 7864
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Jeff Hartmann CIC]
      #417755 - 11/10/15 08:48 PM

Rained all day Saturday and half of Sunday. We managed to get the show in (at least the airplanes that made it in) on Sunday. For the first time, we're glad that the city took the airshow over.

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sreyoB yrraL
AVSIG Member


Reged: 05/16/04
Posts: 9442
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bruce Gorrell [EQY]]
      #417756 - 11/10/15 10:09 PM

Quote:

Rained all day Saturday and half of Sunday. We managed to get the show in (at least the airplanes that made it in) on Sunday. For the first time, we're glad that the city took the airshow over.



"On 'Airlines & Air Crews'!"

"Work, work, work, turbulence!"


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Randy Sohn
Gradn Exlated Ordre of teh Fyling Fingres


Reged: 08/31/01
Posts: 23187
Loc: Savage, MN - U.S.A.
Re: The Guard Police [Re: Bruce Gorrell [EQY]]
      #417760 - 11/11/15 06:26 AM

Quote:

Rained all day Saturday and half of Sunday




Sounds to me like that show we did at Olathe, Kansas once.

best, randy


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